Notes From A Meditation, 4/16/2015

I finally visited Hawk and Artemis tonight, after not seeing them for a few weeks. It was kind of hard to concentrate so I really had to focus, but I saw them.

Hawk is doing well. He’s enjoying the bright blue skies and lots of wind we’ve been having. Warmer weather means better flying conditions. If I ask, maybe he’ll take me to Egypt again…

Artemis is doing good, too. She’s keeping busy.

They were tolerant of my questions tonight, though teasing me near the end.

I cheated and asked Hawk about my twin flame, and if he was it. He said no but he knows what I’m talking about.

“Will I meet them in my lifetime?” I asked.

He smiled like a proud father and said yes.

I asked, “When?”

He said soon… I got the feeling of ‘within a few years’… When I turn thirty or a little after that. Thirty-one at the latest.

“And how about my spirit-sister? Are we still on track to meet in, what, two to four weeks?”

Yes, you’ll meet at work. Hmm, more like two and a half weeks.

“Okay, okay. Cool. On a more serious note, you know about M?”

Artemis and Hawk both grow somber. Yes they know what’s going on with her.

“Is there anything I can do to help her?”

Just be her friend. Her anchor. Keep holding on to her.

I tried to get more information but they wouldn’t say anything more. They didn’t want me attracting attention. (?)

“And how about my other friend? Are we just drifting apart?”

Yeah (sadly), it’s the natural order of things. You’re growing one way and she’s headed another.

“Is that why I’ve been feeling sad lately? Because I can’t do anything more for M and I know my friendship with my other friend is coming to an end?”

Hawk nuzzles me, comforting me.

Isis is there. I bow and greet her with a title I made up for her and asks is she likes it. She lifts her head regally and crosses her arms.

Yes. She does. She smiles.

“Are we ready for another layer or do I still need to wait a bit?”

Isis thinks for a moment but agrees that we can begin another layer.

Artemis comes up behind me and steadies me by taking a hold of my upper arms.

“Wait, just one more question,” I say.

Whaaat? Hawk asks, jokingly.

“Tarot, cats, and dogs. I’m really good with them.”

Yes. (you already know this)

“How about the pendulum? Am I good with that?”

Well… You’re not great, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

I nod and turn back toward Isis. “Okay.” I take a deep breath. “Go ahead.”

With her fingernail, Isis traces a plus sign into my forehead and then quickly pushes her arm in, past her elbow.

I can feel her digging around my skull or my mind, I really don’t care which it is, it feels creepy and weird. I’m enduring it spiritually, but physically my forehead feels strange and my neck muscles are twitching like they’re pushing against something. And the back of my head is itchy, but not my scalp, like the inside of my skull. And my breathing is is coming is little gasps.

But she’s found what she’s looking for and starts to peel this thick, dark, skin-like coating off. Don’t ask me where she’s taking it off, I just know I’m about to throw up. Underneath this wallpaper substance is a harder surface. It actually looks very similar to a steel drum, material and texture alike.

When she’s peeled off enough, she backs away. Artemis lets go and they all give me a minute to collect myself. My head is hurting and when I finally stand up, Artemis kisses my forehead. They advise me to go home and don’t chastise me when I don’t formally say my goodbyes.

When I wake up I have a headache and cough until my stomach hurts.

Isis is getting me ready to start uncovering the layers. But what she’s doing before we even get to the first layer is pretty uncomfortable.

Hawk and Artemis are sympathetic though they can’t do anything, only watch. It’s just something I need to go through on my own.

Isis did say the more I request to get it done, the more she has me wait before we do start.

*sigh*

On a different topic, I asked Hawk and Artemis when I’ll be meeting my spirit-sister, as I thought I was supposed to meet her last week.

They said she’s been delayed and won’t be here for another 4-6 weeks.

I’m looking forward to finally finding out who she is. Ugh. More waiting.

So the whole sticking the arm in my forehead thing? Apparently there’s something buried in me, my subconscious, or my spirit. And Isis is trying to bring it to light.

It’s going to take some time as there are 7-9 layers I need to go through before it’s uncovered. Did one session tonight that was the “prequel” before we actually get to the layers. I was not a fan.

And now I’m exhausted. Goodnight.

Upon formally meeting Isis, I asked her in what way could I honor her. She said that before I read tarot or perform a spell, I should call on/invoke her for her assistance. Even if I don’t need it.

Isis is here to help me with my magic.

I then asked her if she was okay sharing me with another Goddess, Artemis. Both deities looked at each other, pointed fingers, and basically said, “Eeeeyyyyyyy.” One of them might have winked.

So, good to know my Goddesses are okay with one another.

Gah! Holy crap! What is it with my Goddess and them ramming their arm into my third eye??

Artemis did it a few weeks ago and tonight, after I had officially met Isis, she practically sucker punched me.. And then decided to poke and prod and tug and twist whatever she could literally get her hand on.

Meanwhile, Artemis is holding me steady so I can’t move, but hey, it’s no big deal, there’s just a FREAKING ARM IN THE MIDDLE OF MY HEAD!

Talk about weirdest sensation ever. And also wanting to vomit but not being sure if it’s my physical self or my spirit self that wants to up-chuck.

This has got to mean something…

January 30th, 2015

Hmm… Well, that didn’t go quite as I had hoped.

When I first met Artemis, I imagined myself opening my patio door, walking outside. And so I was wondering which door would be the one through which I meet Isis. I couldn’t get a good feel on any of them, so I decided to visit my meadows and do some thinking there.

As I walked down to the tunnel that lead to my meadow, the floor and the walls quickly began to be coated in gold. And my clothes, which, this time, were dark blue scrubs, changed while I was walking into a floor-length, dress of some kind. It was basically what you see the female Egyptian statues wearing. At the same time of my clothes changing, rings, bracelets, arm bands, necklace, headbands that come forward and lay across your forehead, and that traditional wig of black hair appeared. I was sight to see, I’ll tell you that.

As I continued walking down the tunnel, the gold kept covering everything. When I got the pond of the Universe, the gold stopped a few feet away. I bent down and gave my respects, realizing that the Universe is feeling sluggish today. Very, “five more minutes, mom,” or “I guess I’ll do the dishes now.”

I walked past the pond and came to the bottom of the stairs that lead to my meadows. But instead of one giant opening, there were now two. The opening on the left was bigger and led to a place with hues of gold and yellow. The opening on the right led to my meadows, to which it was dark, things were sleeping.

Knowing I was here to meet Isis, I chose to walk through the opening on the left. And not really surprised, found myself in Egypt, a ways away from the pyramids. At the end of a little walkway, was an uncovered Jeep and two guards waiting for me. One of the guards was the driver and the other sat with me in the back seat. I didn’t make small talk with them, but they seemed friendly enough.

I think the driver was associated with Anubis, as it had a dog-like head, and the one that sat with me was associated with Horus, as this one had a bird-like head.

As we drove, I saw a bird in the sky and called up to Hawk, but who came down was much bigger and more eagle-like than Hawk. But the bird landed on my arm just fine and we continued to drive a little bit until we came to one-story building with sand dunes up against the outside walls. I set the eagle on a branch, understanding that while Hawk would love to be here with me, he can’t because this is something I have to do on my own.

Four more guards were posted outside the main entrance, very casual. They watched me go in with no protests. Once inside, I walked a few steps to a lowered… walkway, I guess, with stairs leading up to main areas. A younger person, I couldn’t tell if they were male or female, got off of a lounging chair and came to stand in front of me. They were shirtless, wore a skirt of some kind with a length of fabric on the front that wasn’t sewed down, and they also had jewelry on, including some eyeliner.

I knelt down and offered my respects to the Goddess Isis. The person stood in front of me, arms crossed, denying me access. I announced again that I was here to personally greet the Goddess Isis, someone who might want to meet me in return.

“She’s not here.” The person said, rather loudly. I could tell they wanted me to go away.

There was a curtain behind the lounging chair that was tightly closed. I said, “Maybe she’s in there. Could you go and tell her that I am here?”

“There’s no one there. Go away.”

I thought, maybe this is a test? From what I read, she is also a goddess of magic. So I tried to form to an invisible shield around myself, like an invisibility cloak. I don’t know if it succeeded because I didn’t get very far. My cloak may have worked, but whomever this person was saw right through it. Though they gave me props for trying.

I tried a couple of different ways to get behind the curtain or to convince the young person to go get Isis herself. But they were adamant: Isis was not here.

The person said, “She’s not here right now. Go back to your regularly scheduled programming.”

Translation: You’re still to meet her, but not now. She’s not here. You usually meditate on a certain day, wait until then and try again.

Which is true, I usually meditate on Sunday or Monday nights. I just figured I had some extra time before bed now, doesn’t hurt to try.

The young person thought my attempts to get any farther were admirable. But go home.

So I did.

January 29th, 2015

I really want to tell my friend that I’m getting ready to greet Isis tonight, but she’s sick and went to bed early.  So I’m telling anyone who reads this:

I’m getting ready to meet Isis tonight. I’m nervous and I hope I treat her with the respect I know she deserves.  Not only do I wonder why she chose me, but I also wonder what she might be able to teach me.

I guess I’ll update when I get back.