Spread-A-Day: Day 10

Date: February 10, 2015
Deck: Shadowscapes Tarot
Created by: siobhanwaters

Day 10

The part of yourself that you hide.
Two of Wands – personal power, authority, courage

I have it in me to be that independent, composed person.  I can walk with confidence, exude self-esteem.  I can be me to the fullest.

Why do you hide part of yourself? (subconscious issues)
Ten of Wands – responsibility, being held accountable, doing things the hard way

I hide that awesome person because I feel that I must earn my independence, I must be rewarded with confidence.  Growing up, I was never told words of affirmation that would have increased my confidence or self-esteem.  I am already an independent and composed person, but only because I don’t know how to be any other way so it’s very rigid.  I also feel that, while I like working hard, I like seeing my work progress, I fear that that is all I know.  I measure my growth by tangible progress. By working hard.

The good things your hidden self can bring you.
Ace of Cups – love, compassion, emotions

I will love with more of my heart.  I can extend my compassion to people, not just animals.  I will feel and embrace deeply more of my emotions.  I won’t have to be so composed all the time.

How to be whole again.
I – The Magician – originality, creativity, willpower

I need to let go this image of being the “hard worker,” of being the “good daughter.”  I need to embrace myself.  All of my quirks and all of my passions.  I still worry about not fitting in, even at work where I am shift leader, people come to me for help, I am very knowledgable in what I do.  I am studious, I like words, and strange facts that no one need know except for the fact that it’s interesting.  I read whatever I can get my hands on… And I practice magic.  I have spoken to the Goddess Artemis.  I feel the energies in crystals as if they were people.  I see more in the sky than just clouds.

I am me.  And I need to remember that.

Oh man, this spread almost made me cry because I had forgotten and buried deep down who I’ve wanted to be.  I’m glad I got a reminder.

Spread-A-Day: Day 6

Date: February 6, 2015
Deck:
Shadowscapes Tarot
Created By:
 golddintentions

Day 6

This card represents you in the present.
II – The High Priestess – knowledge, learning, intuition (Artemis, Isis)

I am a student in the ways of magic and paganism.  I read, I watch, I ask questions, I learn, I feel.  I am opening myself up.

Jumper Card that landed on the first card position
Four of Cups – self-absorption, one’s own concerns

The High Priestess is also tied to the Goddesses Artemis and Isis (hence the parenthesis).  I have been a follower of Artemis for a little bit now, and while I know Isis has been trying to get my attention, I’ve yet to meet her.  These past couple of days Artemis has been doing everything to let me know I need to visit.  Which is true, I haven’t meditated in a couple of weeks and have been focused on my own needs. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I also haven’t incorporated them into anything I’ve done, either.

Something that is currently draining or replenishing you.
Knight of Wands – energy, passion, adventure

My love of life.  I go into a new found project with a single minded purpose that includes a very annoying amount of energy, because I’m so excited to do it!  I love traveling and exploring new places. I love seeing what’s ahead of me, what’s around the river bend. =D  Mom and I are planning a trip in July to one of my favorite places and road trips are one of my favorite things.  I also love just being with friends and whatever may come of us being together.

Something upcoming to be aware of.
Ten of Wands – misfortune, circumstances beyond human control

I look at this card I think that the birds are pick at her as they fly by her.  This situation with my family feels the same way: I feel they are picking on me, and there’s nothing I can really do until we have this meeting.  And then hopefully everything will fall into whatever place they end up.

Something that you should focus on to help you move forward.
Five of Swords – conflict, tension, loss, defeat

I’m not going to win when it comes to trying to get my sisters to see my side of the story.  I feel the order of the keywords is what’s going to happen.  We will butt heads; the conversation will continue but not without that thick odor of tension; I will realize that there is no hope of them understanding; then I will feel defeated because will be right back to where we started, only this time with our emotions having gone through the wringer.

Spread-A-Day: Day 1

Day 1

Date: February 1, 2015
Deck:
Shadowscapes Tarot

Who am I, going into this challenge?
XX Judgement – inner calling, rebirth

Through meditation and meeting Hawk, I have become a more calm person. In delving deeper into what paganism and my own beliefs mean to me, I have learned that I love reading tarot, I love hearing about other people’s ways of doing things and yet we all come to similar conclusions.

I love the fact that my own not-quite-the-best experiences in regards to a higher power haven’t closed me off from finding the Pond of the Universe or from finding Artemis and Isis. And I love the fact that I can feel myself changing into a better me.

Who am I, going into this challenge? I am someone who is finally learning to listen.

In doing this challenge, what do I hope to achieve?
Three of Pentacles – teamwork, fulfillment, learning

I hope to achieve a better understanding of the interconnectedness of people, especially between those who made the spread-a-day spreads and those who will be using the spreads. The energy of people truly working together to understand themselves and their place in the world will be huge and positive… and I see it as this glittering dust floating above everything. It’s so positive and wonderful. If we release that energy when the challenge is done, the universe will do great things because of what we did.

What will I learn about myself in the process?
Ten of Wands – work, responsibility, achievement

This card can be about burdens and stress from over-achieving, but in my case, I feel that I will learn about the achievements I can do with my work. My job is a very physical position and my department is “low man on the totem pole.” We don’t get much praise because we aren’t the ones who are getting the spotlight. We are the ones who work behind the scenes to make sure those who are front and center get their work done more smoothly.

I feel that, though I already love with I do, I will find achievement in my job through a new light or in a different way. I am happy to do what I need to do, but now I need to understand why I do it.