4:13:2015 b

1) Am I being taken advantage of at work?
X – The Wheel of Fortune

We all get taken advantage of sometime in our life, the thing to remember is that it will end. (so, yes.)

2) Who is taking advantage of me?
Queen of Swords

I am taking advantage of myself?

3a) How are they doing this?
Two of Swords

I am denying myself the obvious truth. I am avoiding what I already know but don’t want to hear.  I don’t like when other people do this, so learning that I am doing it to myself is very disappointing.

3b) What truths am I denying?
Knight of Wands – Seven of Swords

There is someone in my department who, while they have a lot of energy for the job, they are much too over-confident, even cocky.  They know what they want and are willing to get it, even excited that they are finally on their way to achieving this goal, but their attitude is going to get in the way.  And if they keep lying to me and evading the responsibilities of the job, we are going to have a serious problem.

3c) Is this person L?
XVI – The Tower.

Fuck. It is. Better strap myself in for a bumpy ride.

4a) How do I stop them from taking advantage of me?
Ten of Cups

I should create an environment of peace and serenity.  I should create an environment in my department that people want to come to because we’re always having a good time, yet we still work hard.  My coworkers shouldn’t come to work because it’s their job, they should come to work because they like the atmosphere.  I should create and strive to be someone that people can come to for just about anything, because I can put a smile on their face and make them feel good. I should be calm and relaxed.

4b) How can I stop L from taking advantage of me?
Ten of Swords

I can’t really.  I can’t force them to learn about life differently. But if once we have that air of peace and awesomeness, where we always have a good time, and they continues to be deceitful then that will be their downfall. They’ll try to get ahead by being cunning and hurtful, but it won’t get them anywhere.  They’ll question why others are moving forward with their careers and lives when they’ve actually gone backwards.  But they won’t do anything to fix their attitude, and that will be their end.

(I swear the Ten of Cups and the Ten of Swords in this situation say “kill her with kindness”.)

4c) (I forgot what I asked. I didn’t write it down. Maybe something along the lines of, “How can I create this environment of peace and serenity?”)
VII – The Chariot

Triumph over Obstacles. Focus. Establishing an Identity. Self-Confidence. Assuming Authority. “Drive with Unwavering Certainty.”

I need to truly accept my role of shift leader. Since I got it, it’s been a title and nothing more. I never really liked the responsibilities that came with it.  But, to get this great departmental vibe going, I need to wear that title with confidence. People need to see the shift leader before they see the worker.

Spread-A-Day: Day 3

Date: February 3, 2015
Deck:
Shadowscapes Tarot
Created By:
 innerselfnotes

Day 3

“What does February hold for me?”

First, I had the cards in laid out in a row. Then I put then in a 3×3 grid so I could take a picture of them (because that’s so much more important than figuring them out). But when I placed them in the grid, I found that each row, before I looked up the meanings of the individual cards, had a theme.

Day 3b

Two of Pentacles
keeping everything in motion, flexible, adaptable

I feel a lot of turbulence will be headed my way in February, a little at work but more so at home and with family. I need to keep my chin up as I go through the old song and dance with my sisters regarding my dad. One wrong move, however, and it was all for naught.

Queen of Swords
honesty, inner knowledge, “accurate perceptions of the world around her and for her experiences”

With this situation with my dad I have always been honest to what I have seen and experienced. I’m going to have to stick to my guns when I’m with my sisters because all I have, in regards to their questions, is what I know. I feel there is going to come a moment during this month where I will have to stop and figure out the answer to a hard, personal question. I’m also going to have to be honest with myself.

Ten of Cups
serenity, peace, success

This card is not telling me what is going to happen if the family meetings goes well (though that would be nice); this card is telling what the outcome might be if I choose my steps wisely when meeting my sisters. Keeping my emotions under control, that’s not to say don’t show them, but rather let them out in a constructive manner, will help tremendously. I will need to think before I speak. My words have more power in then than I realize. They are hear to listen to I have to say, so what I say finally has some worth.

If all goes well, then we will end the day, not necessarily with happiness (because this is not a happy meeting), but with a sense of accomplishment. We came together for a purpose and now that we’ve all had our say in the matter, we are granted some peace.

The first three cards are warnings when dealing with my sisters and discussing the situation that has arisen because of my dad. I need to keep my balance by not throwing up my personal, defensive shields. I need to be flexible, but I also need to speak the truth while pleasing everyone. If I do this difficult, tricky dance correctly, we will all come out stronger as a family.

Day 3c

Five of Cups
loss, mourning, regret

In my Wheel of Your Year spread, the Five of Cups was the main theme for February. So I’m not surprised that it showed up when I asked about February. I sometimes see snapshots in my mind during readings, and when contemplating the Five of Cups, I saw an older man with his back toward me and a younger girl in the process of turning away from me. The girl had a sad smile on her face. They both were heading toward a very strong, bright, white light. I have a distinct feeling on who the older man is and the fear that he will die. While the family is preparing for the inevitable end (as his health is failing him in real life), I know it will still be a shock when that phone does ring.

XVIII – The Moon
fears, anxieties, disorientation, experiencing distortion

It is because of this older man dying, of who he represented to me and all that he has done for me, I feel that I will become lost. That disorientation of ‘who’s going to be there now?’ kind of lost. ‘I don’t know what to do’ distortion of life. I also feel that it will be my mother whose fears about this man not being in her life, while are many, will overload her. And her wanting to control everything will become out of control.

Ace of Cups
love, compassion, creativity

I will not have strayed from the path for very long. It is my friends who will help me find my way again. With their love and compassion, their understanding and time, I will travel the road once more. Maybe not as fast as I had been going, but I will be back. And when I get back, my creativity, which will have been stifled during this black time, will keep me up at night, wondering what project I’m going to do next. I will mourn if I need to, but I will also remember the good times I had.

In the Five of Cups, I also saw a younger girl (I also believe I know who it is). I feel that while we will both be going through hard times this month, she will blossom with love and creativity near the end. I will see her smile again. A smile that I had not seen in a very long time.

I don’t know if the cards can forecast a death, but I truly feel that is what I am being told. I know death can also be a metaphor for transitions and changes, but my instinct is not telling me that. There is true sadness. I am encouraged to know that my time being lost will not be long.

Day 3d

XII – The Hanged Man
surrendering, emotional release, giving up control, “a subtle shifting of the state of mind”

In regards to the situation with my dad and the meeting with my sisters, it is advised that I stop holding on so dear to what I know to be THE TRUTH. While it is the truth, for myself, it doesn’t do any good if I also don’t listen to what my sisters have to say. And not just pretend to listen only to go back to THE TRUTH, but really listen. I have my truth, but they also have theirs, and while they may not be saying it outright, it’s between the lines.

Six of Swords
“passage away from difficulties,” regretful but necessary transition

February is going to be particularly hard month for me, so much so that I’m going to want to just throw in the towel and not care any more. Just let someone else handle it. But that’s not meeting the challenge, is it? These events are in my life for a reason, it’s time I shakily face them and learn from them.

Three of Wands
explore, seek out the uncharted, expand your horizons

After I have truly faced what has befallen me, my emotions laid bare, I said what I needed to say and I contemplated what I did not know before, after all of that… am I free to make my own path. Major components in my life will have changed drastically, but I can use them to my advantage if I listen to their lessons and apply them to my life.

These last three cards were, in some shape or form, advice for me for the month of February. They seem to be arranged in a first-then-last format. I am not looking forward for February, but with what I have been given, I can hopefully make it easier.