4:13:2015 b

1) Am I being taken advantage of at work?
X – The Wheel of Fortune

We all get taken advantage of sometime in our life, the thing to remember is that it will end. (so, yes.)

2) Who is taking advantage of me?
Queen of Swords

I am taking advantage of myself?

3a) How are they doing this?
Two of Swords

I am denying myself the obvious truth. I am avoiding what I already know but don’t want to hear.  I don’t like when other people do this, so learning that I am doing it to myself is very disappointing.

3b) What truths am I denying?
Knight of Wands – Seven of Swords

There is someone in my department who, while they have a lot of energy for the job, they are much too over-confident, even cocky.  They know what they want and are willing to get it, even excited that they are finally on their way to achieving this goal, but their attitude is going to get in the way.  And if they keep lying to me and evading the responsibilities of the job, we are going to have a serious problem.

3c) Is this person L?
XVI – The Tower.

Fuck. It is. Better strap myself in for a bumpy ride.

4a) How do I stop them from taking advantage of me?
Ten of Cups

I should create an environment of peace and serenity.  I should create an environment in my department that people want to come to because we’re always having a good time, yet we still work hard.  My coworkers shouldn’t come to work because it’s their job, they should come to work because they like the atmosphere.  I should create and strive to be someone that people can come to for just about anything, because I can put a smile on their face and make them feel good. I should be calm and relaxed.

4b) How can I stop L from taking advantage of me?
Ten of Swords

I can’t really.  I can’t force them to learn about life differently. But if once we have that air of peace and awesomeness, where we always have a good time, and they continues to be deceitful then that will be their downfall. They’ll try to get ahead by being cunning and hurtful, but it won’t get them anywhere.  They’ll question why others are moving forward with their careers and lives when they’ve actually gone backwards.  But they won’t do anything to fix their attitude, and that will be their end.

(I swear the Ten of Cups and the Ten of Swords in this situation say “kill her with kindness”.)

4c) (I forgot what I asked. I didn’t write it down. Maybe something along the lines of, “How can I create this environment of peace and serenity?”)
VII – The Chariot

Triumph over Obstacles. Focus. Establishing an Identity. Self-Confidence. Assuming Authority. “Drive with Unwavering Certainty.”

I need to truly accept my role of shift leader. Since I got it, it’s been a title and nothing more. I never really liked the responsibilities that came with it.  But, to get this great departmental vibe going, I need to wear that title with confidence. People need to see the shift leader before they see the worker.

Spread-A-Day: Day 5

Date: February 5, 2015
Shadowscapes Tarot
Created By:

Day 5

1) The Right Hand – How am I being held back by others?
XVIII – The Moon – believing illusions, distortion

Some are keeping secrets from me, while others are trying to attain a dream they once knew but is now long gone. Both are holding me back because neither is truthful. Once the secrets are revealed, the poison behind them will leave behind so much damage that it will be unrepairable. And the person chasing the dream… will keep grasping at nothing. They are in a fantasy, oblivious to others but themselves. And while I try to call them back, to show them the true beauty of the world, they will keep getting farther away, lost in their own false world.

2) The Left Hand – How am I being held back by myself?
XVI – The Tower – sudden emotion, crisis, “making a clean and utter break from the past”

I keep my emotions at bay because they are too big for me. If I didn’t control what I felt I would be a total wreck every time something happened. Being level-headed and examining my emotions slowly will help me. This situation with my dad and the upcoming family meeting has heightened my perception and convinced me to take it down to DEFCON 3. I am making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. To make a clean break from the past is kind of a harsh way of saying that I need to let go of what is not helping me grow. Though I do feel I need to cut ties, I don’t need to be all dramatic about it.

3) The Crown of Thorns – One possible way to get off the cross (getting out of the head game)
0 – The Fool – innocence, new beginnings, unlimited possibilities

I need to quit worrying about what might happen. I need to stop thinking ten steps ahead. I need to let go, forget everything, and just leap. Whatever will happen, will happen. OR… I need to keep going the same direction I’ve been going but retrain my eyes to see things as though I’ve never seen them before. I have the knowledge, I need the new eyes.

4) The Fatal Wound – An obstacle that might stop me in my tracks
Six of Wands – triumph, victory, pride

If I let my pride get in the way of the true path, I will believe that I have won my trials and overcome my barriers. When in reality, that will be far from the truth. I will have just begun my trials, even though I am tired before I see the start line; I won’t even see my barriers until I have tripped over them and fallen down. To be victorious too early in the game hurts more than I’ll know.

5) The Feet – A possible outcome (walking away from the cross)
XI – Justice – harmony, assuming responsibility, full awareness

To walk away from that which is harming me, I need to buckle down and take my fair share of responsibility and blame. I feel that even if I don’t think it’s the fair thing to do, it will be the right thing to do to keep the peace.