Spread-A-Day: Day 10

Date: February 10, 2015
Deck: Shadowscapes Tarot
Created by: siobhanwaters

Day 10

The part of yourself that you hide.
Two of Wands – personal power, authority, courage

I have it in me to be that independent, composed person.  I can walk with confidence, exude self-esteem.  I can be me to the fullest.

Why do you hide part of yourself? (subconscious issues)
Ten of Wands – responsibility, being held accountable, doing things the hard way

I hide that awesome person because I feel that I must earn my independence, I must be rewarded with confidence.  Growing up, I was never told words of affirmation that would have increased my confidence or self-esteem.  I am already an independent and composed person, but only because I don’t know how to be any other way so it’s very rigid.  I also feel that, while I like working hard, I like seeing my work progress, I fear that that is all I know.  I measure my growth by tangible progress. By working hard.

The good things your hidden self can bring you.
Ace of Cups – love, compassion, emotions

I will love with more of my heart.  I can extend my compassion to people, not just animals.  I will feel and embrace deeply more of my emotions.  I won’t have to be so composed all the time.

How to be whole again.
I – The Magician – originality, creativity, willpower

I need to let go this image of being the “hard worker,” of being the “good daughter.”  I need to embrace myself.  All of my quirks and all of my passions.  I still worry about not fitting in, even at work where I am shift leader, people come to me for help, I am very knowledgable in what I do.  I am studious, I like words, and strange facts that no one need know except for the fact that it’s interesting.  I read whatever I can get my hands on… And I practice magic.  I have spoken to the Goddess Artemis.  I feel the energies in crystals as if they were people.  I see more in the sky than just clouds.

I am me.  And I need to remember that.

Oh man, this spread almost made me cry because I had forgotten and buried deep down who I’ve wanted to be.  I’m glad I got a reminder.

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